Conflict Management and Problem Solving

Conflict in PTA usually revolves around three areas:

  1. Individual conflicts
  2. Problems relating to PTA activities
  3. Group/individuals in opposition to PTA policies or positions. Some conflicts can be avoided when you are:
    • Knowledgeable
    • Familiar with bylaws
    • Following the policies of PTA
    • Informed about the issues
    • Sensitive to the rights of members
    • Able to avoid personality conflicts

Working Together and Conflict Management

Here are some tips on meeting the challenge of working effectively together as a team when there are different personalities, leadership styles, experience levels, ages, and understanding the association.

  • Set goals and discuss expectations
  • Agree to ground rules
  • Agree to respect differences of opinion
  • Build relationships with your board

Recognize conflict. Assumptions and perceptions are often at the center of a conflict.

Possible causes:

  • Strong differences of opinion
  • Failure to communicate
  • Misunderstanding about goals
  • Unfamiliarity with policies, procedures or bylaws
  • Disagreement as to what has taken place
  • Personality differences

Manage conflict. Do not fear. Conflict can be healthy. How you deal with it makes the difference. Conflict resolution is a process that often results in positive change and growth for individuals and the association. The key to successful conflict resolution is keeping the focus on the process and desired outcomes, not the personalities. To manage conflict, protect your neutrality so that you will be seen as a fair and credible facilitator for resolution.

Control conflict. Work to contain the conflict. Maintain confidentiality and don’t involve others who are not a part of the solution. Be sure to notify your PTA council or region of situations that are not resolved promptly or appear to be escalating.

Problem Solving Pointers

  • Let people solve their problems—don’t take responsibility for others’ problems.
  • Most problems are best solved at the level at which they occur—that is where you start to solve the problem.
  • Avoid using a message that starts with “you.” “You have a problem” will cause others to be defensive.
  • Use “I” messages. “I have a problem. I don’t understand (name the problem). How can we work together to solve it?”
  • Identify the problem—be specific without assigning blame.
  • Allow that others may be having a bad day. Keep the discussion at the level of the problem. Take it seriously, not personally, and avoid making personal comments. Œ
  • Solve only one issue at a time.
  • Make sure both sides of the issue are heard.
  • Listen carefully, wait, and give feedback to make sure you heard what the people are trying to tell you. Sometimes they just need to be heard.
  • Talk about different ways to solve the problem. Ask, “What would you like to see happen?” Then choose one or two that you both agree are the “best” solutions.
  • Make sure you have the same understanding of what the solution is. This is done with feedback. You might say, “Thank you so much for your time. I understand that (then repeat what you understand to be the solution).”
  • Ask positive questions and listen to the person. “What happened?” “What do you want me to do?” “What are the possible solutions?” Help them pause and think. They might come up with their own solution.

Resolving Conflict in PTA

“It Begins With Me” By Ilene Mecham (Utah PTA President 2009-2011)

Do you want to spread spider poison or warm fuzzies? Leader’s Responsibility in Managing Conflict

  1. Identify the problem, don’t gossip about it and don’t assign blame.
  2. Don’t try to change people or control their actions. (It ticks them off.)
  3. GIVE EVERYONE RESPECT.
  4. Foster TEAM WORK. Support each other.
  5. Let the president have her turn to lead PTA.
  6. Remember, a person’s perception is their reality.
  7. As you are exposed to conflict, do your part to DEFLATE it.
  8. Don’t gossip. Go to a person if you have a problem and discuss it calmly and respectfully with them. Don’t be part of “parking lot” discussions. (Do your part to deflate it).
  9. Do NOT take things personally.
  10. Don’t be defensive and offended easily.
  11.  “Check your EGO at the door.” (“Is that my ego talking?”)
  12. Listen. Think.
  13. Follow our Standing Rules and bylaws.
  14. Have a good attitude.
  15. Assume the BEST. (“I am sure he/she didn’t mean be offensive”).
  16. Be correctly informed. Don’t listen to assumptions or gossip.
  17. Appreciate the good actions and talents of people. Validate people.
  18. “Having my say does not mean having my way.”
  19. Think about the desired result. “What is best for the children?”
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